Two years after the death of his wife Helen, the presenter and author talks about grief, his new travels and why naps have become so important.
Sir Michael Palin is a comedian and actor, but since his hit series Around the World in 80 Days came to our screens in the 1980s, he’s been our national travelling treasure.
Now at 82, his latest volume of diaries, There and Back, has just been released in paperback and he spoke to Saga Magazine about the death of his wife Helen in 2023, how his family helped him through his grief and his latest travels.
The full interview appears in July’s Saga Magazine available on subscription and at selected retailers.
I can see why people say it takes two years or so before your response gradually changes. It becomes less about loss and more about the spirit of that person being around, so that’s very nice. I feel less grief now, and more that I’ve got to keep on doing things, looking after the children we made together.
I talk to myself as if she’s there. I’ll show some spectacular bit of incompetence that I know she would have found funny, then I’ll hear myself saying something in the way she would have said it and I’ll laugh, even though I’m the only one there. Imagining her being there makes me laugh.
Her pictures are everywhere, the chairs we used to sit in, the books she used to read, that sort of thing. They have become reassuring.
I get dark days, when you feel a bit down and wonder what you’re going to do on a cold autumn Sunday on your own, but I factor that in. I know I’m going to feel her loss at certain times. The family have been my bereavement counsellors really.
Fortunately, the three children all live quite close. You might see pagodas, volcanoes and waterfalls all round the world, but what’s really important is who comes round for dinner on a Sunday
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I didn’t want to be dependent on the family to come around every day. I don’t cook, unfortunately. There were various areas like that where I thought I might be a bit vulnerable.
But it turns out I’m quite good at being on my own. The other person who guides me through that is actually Helen.
We were a unit for so long. You can never begin to replace a relationship which lasted 60 years.
I’m OK living on my own, then I go off to Venezuela or somewhere. I’m not moping.
I do get quite tired more quickly, so I do quite a bit of napping. Sometimes it’s unbidden: I’m reading a book or watching the news and I go straight off to sleep.
Yes, that has potential. I don’t know where that’s got to
He [the late Graham Chapman] was brilliant as the central character in Life of Brian. So to do something else without that aspect of it doesn’t seem to me quite right.
It’s like a table with four legs, one of which is missing. It’s still just about usable, but it’s not very stable.
We had to talk it through. If Helen had gone away for four months, I’d have been very upset and missed her a lot.
But in the end I think she took the view that otherwise I’d have been in the kitchen, getting in the way, frustrated
I can remember ringing from the Himalayas. I wanted to tell her about these extraordinary temples I had seen. All she wanted to know was where the stopcock was because the plumber was coming. Quite right too!
I got a fan letter saying what a noble, honourable person I was. I say in the diary that I told this to Helen when we were about to go to bed. She just raised her eyes heavenwards.
There and Back: Diaries 1999-2009 by Michael Palin (W&N, £14.99)
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