Johnny Ball on his favourite holidays and why travel makes his wife cry

What was your most memorable trip?

Back in 1997 Oxfam asked myself and Zoe asked if we would visit Mali and the Dogon tribes to witness Oxfam's vital work with their quite desperate situation and conditions. Each day as we waved goodbye to very poor people to return to our base, Zoe would cry for them.

One day however we were lucky enough to visit Timbuktu – our guides got us there via a second world war route. To to see this very ancient city perched on the southern edge of the mighty Sahara Desert was so thrilling.

What is the best holiday you’ve ever been on?

Namibia. We did a fly-drive and loved that more than anything: the freedom, the safety, the wonderful experiences. The sand dunes are incredible, they're orange and enormous, the size of the Millennium Dome but in a continuous group of about 14 at a time.

It’s the sand from the Yellow River which floats on top of the sea, is blown in land and forms these incredible dunes. That is lovely.

We went to Swakupmund, a city on the coast. We canoed with the seals, who would jump over our boat and get us to tickle them. When we did tickle them they’d say: "Lower please …’"

When you get further up the big game reserves are so vast you’re lucky to see anything but we did see three elephants. Then we were going to a hotel and as I drove we saw two cheetahs walking by the side of the road. I slowed down to be no faster than them. They looked at us then just carried on beside us for about a quarter of a mile, before they shot off.

That evening we came down for the evening meal and the owner of the place was a really gruff white South African who made us show him the right animal in a book to make sure it was true.

He said: "I’ve had this estate for 20 years, I have never seen a cheetah."

What's your earliest memory of being on holiday?

Both my parents came from Lancashire. Mum had run away from her mother, she felt obliged to go and see her family, so we had a week in a place called West Horton - between Bolton and Wigan - which was purgatory.

Then we had a week in Blackpool. 

I was six and it was 1944 and very much still wartime. The train was jammed but people were so warm to each other because we were coming out of the dark days and it looked like we were going to be okay.

Blackpool was fabulous. My Dad loved the Pleasure Beach and the scenic rides and the Fun House. We saw George Formby play. I was introduced to the poem The Lion and Albert [by Marriott Edgar] – we bought the book. We went to the circus. There was a lot of laughter.

After going to Blackpool a few times I knew I wanted to be a comedian,

What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you on holiday?

I was getting married to Diane in 1975 so I rang an agent and got a fortnight stay in Malta and fifty pound to spend all for doing one spot as a comedian. It wasn’t the best honeymoon.

First of all, the room had no view. I rushed down to complain, but it turned out they saw me as staff and all the workers had these rooms facing into a big shaft down the middle of the hotel that was supposed to give light, but they had built a nightclub on top and blocked it all out.

Then on the third day I lost my trousers. We came off the beach and the car was hot so we put our stuff on the top to dry and I drove off by mistake. We never found them.

The day after that I lost my wedding ring in a very deep place called St Peter's Pool. 

I hate swimming but I got a snorkel mask and went in. As soon as the water hit my ears I panicked. Diane went to take a picture of me and my ring had gone. She went into a kind of slow burn: "You make me so sad sometimes!"

We got lots of people, including members of the British forces and a couple of hotel gigolos, looking for my ring in the water. I was directing everybody this way and that.

Eventually I found it, on some weeds just below the water line. I just reached down and got it myself.

What was the last book you read on holiday?

I don't read a lot. I do maths puzzle books, the harder the better. I like the challenge.

What are your top three things to take on holiday with you?

First of all, only take a roll-on cabin case, even if you’re doing two weeks in India or somewhere like that. You're out of the airport quicker than anybody else.

The second thing I always take is my wife.

And the third is the knowledge that our doggy, Holly, who is nine, is in a little home that she loves for a week. She’s a working cocker spaniel and that title really does fit. She so obedient and remembers every command.

What are the three best views you have seen on your travels?

Diane is not a cry baby at all, but she can be emotionally overjoyed at something she sees for the first time.

My wife cried when we walked into the Blue Mosque in Istanbul, Turkey.

My wife cried when I got her to keep her eyes closed then open them at the last minute and look right down into Victoria Falls.

And my wife cried when we arrived at our hotel room in Cairo, Egypt, and I got her to enter with her eyes closed again and stand with her calves against the bottom of the bed.

When she opened them there was a huge window with the Great Pyramid in the dead centre of the view, less than half mile away.

Beach, pool or mountain lake?

Mountain lake. Our favourite holidays, in truth, have always been skiing. Now we are older we are deliberating whether to book another trip. We really want to go again, but on easier slopes.

We don’t want the challenges any more or the fast speeds, but we do love skiing and the atmosphere of the slopes and the snow.