The Pointless and Classic FM presenter reflects on his unconventional parents, raising four sons and the life lessons he’s learned along the way.
What’s the most important life lesson you’ve learned?
There are two parts to this. The first is pure Polonius, from Hamlet: “To thine own self be true”. But much more important as a first step is finding out who you are: who “thine own self” is. That can take time. If I’m entirely honest, I don’t believe I was fully a grown-up until I was about 27.
As a generation, I think perhaps we were molly-coddled. We lived in an era that was so incredibly safe. I came down to London from the North East in my early twenties and I had my granny’s old car, in my parents’ names, so if ever I was caught speeding, my poor father would get the ticket.
When I was 27, that was the first time I actually said: “I’m going to get my own car and insure it myself”. Just taking responsibility for my life.
I’m afraid that speaks volumes for how sheltered and lucky I am. But that was an excellent turning point.
What was the best advice your Mum and Dad gave you?
“Just go for it.” There’s something wonderfully vagabondish about my parents, Angus and Virginia.
We lived in a farm on the edge of the moor in Northumberland. There was no central heating at all, so it was very cold in winter.
In summer we’d have heatwaves and my parents would just move their entire bedroom out onto the lawn overnight. It was brilliant. My father was a doctor, so he’d have the old cordless telephone outside on the bedside table. They didn’t think it was odd at all.
That same attitude meant that if I wanted to go and be a comedian for a bit, rather than doing a serious job, they were like: “Yeah, brilliant, what a good idea”.
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How is life better at 56 than it was at 18?
I can give you two ways. The first is my children, four boys aged between 11 and 19, who are magnificent. Endless anxiety, but endless joy and pride and proper fun. Above all, they’re funny as hell. They make us and each other laugh, which I adore.
The second answer is taking pleasure as things come around. As an ex-chorister, I have a cyclical understanding of music and life. There are things I listen to at certain times of the year, such as the Bach Passions at Easter. Every time a piece comes around it’s slightly more imbued with memory and sentiment and you love it more.
Talking of good things repeating, you have made more than 2,000 episodes of the quiz show Pointless. How long will you go on?
As long as they’re happy to pay me to do it. I love the excuse of getting to spend time with all these brilliant and slightly randomly selected people.
For the most part, when they go out, I think: “Oh no, you were such fun and now you’re off!”
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