Ageism is making loneliness worse - but there are simple steps you can take to make a difference for you and your loved ones.
A study by health campaigning charity Nuffield Health has revealed that almost half of us feel lonely every week. There is also evidence to show that loneliness is as bad for us as smoking.
In fact, the World Health Organization is so worried about its effects on our health that it has a worldwide campaign to address loneliness, by improving research and strengthening the evidence for what helps.
So what can we do to break the cycle of loneliness and social isolation? We spoke to the experts to get practical advice.
Nuffield Health’s Healthier Nation Index is an annual study of 8,000 adults in the UK. The charity recently revealed findings suggesting we are feeling lonelier than ever in the UK.
Gosia Bowling, the charity’s lead for emotional wellbeing, is a cognitive behavioural psychotherapist.
“Many people will experience loneliness," she said. "It can feel more common as we grow older and circumstances change – family and friends may have moved away, mobility issues may impact our ability to get out and about, and confidence levels change for trying new things.”
James Lewis, founder of charity Action for Elders, agrees.
“The fact is that since the pandemic there has been an increase in loneliness among older people," he explained. "By 2041 more than 4.5m people in the UK over the age of 65 will be living alone and this could create a loneliness time bomb.
"Loneliness has the same effect as obesity on our longevity – people affected would live longer if they weren’t lonely.”
Action for Elders is one of the leading charities helping older people with loneliness. CEO Lewis says there is a distinction between loneliness and social isolation.
“There is a lot of confusion between loneliness and social isolation. They are linked but very different,” he says.
“With social isolation, if you bring people together then you will see a benefit.”
Lewis adds: “But with loneliness, even if you bring people together in a group, yes the sufferer will benefit to a certain extent, but they could still feel lonely within that group setting.
“Then when they return home, their feelings will be unchanged and the loneliness remains. We have to change how they feel about themselves, and improve their confidence and self-worth to get the root of their loneliness.”
Lewis says there is a link between loneliness and ageism.
“We all think of getting older in a negative way and that’s been built into our subconscious from a young age,” he says.
“Whatever stage we are at in our lives, they all have their benefits and their challenges.”
Lewis says that as a result of ageism in our society, people believe that they have lost their worth and cannot try anything new. That is when they can lose confidence and a decline into low self-esteem – and the loneliness it can bring – can set in.
“We are trying to break that pattern,” he says. “It’s important to help people regain their sense of achievement in what they have done with their lives, regain their self-worth. We want to encourage them and show them what they can still do, that it isn’t too late and they are still capable of learning new things and achieving a lot in later life.
“This is why some people need that one-to-one personalised support, including counselling and mentorship. If you can’t improve someone’s confidence, then you won’t break that cycle of loneliness.”
If you are beginning to experience loneliness through social isolation, the Nuffield Health’s Bowling has some practical advice on what to do about it.
If you’re worried about taking your first step, charities are there to help you. Action for Elders offers both online and in-person individual help as well as groups you can join, and Age UK has a befriending scheme to connect you with others in your community.
Feeling lonely can still have a stigma about it. But there’s no need for embarrassment. Loneliness is not a weakness but a signal that you have social needs that are not being met. Do you have a family member, friend or neighbour who you could speak to?
Opening up can help create connection and build the foundations for meaningful relationships.
Exercise releases feel-good hormones, so exercising regularly can help improve your outlook, making you feel more positive. And finding ways to keep active, such as joining a gym, can also introduce you to new people and help you to connect with others more regularly.
Social media makes it seem as if everyone else is having a perfect life. Studies have found that it is a major contributor to feelings of depression and loneliness.
Some people find that seeing people with high numbers of ‘friends’ or followers can leave them feeling like a failure or that they’re constantly missing out. It’s important to remember that posts on social media are carefully edited and don’t provide a true picture.
Loneliness Awareness Week, which takes place in June every year, raises awareness of loneliness and calls on all of us to play a part – whether it’s you who’s feeling lonely or you know someone who you fear may be suffering in silence.
The Government’s former civil society minister, Stuart Andrew, whose remit included tackling loneliness (at the time of writing), says:
“Loneliness is something that can affect anyone at any time, but it’s important people know that they are not alone and that support is out there.
“Loneliness Awareness Week is the perfect opportunity to encourage small moments of connection, whether that be arranging to go for a walk with a friend or inviting them for a tea or coffee."
“By opening up the conversation about how we are feeling, we can better support each other.”
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